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Leland's Life

And the Adventures Awaiting Lucian Reign

Have I Lost My Mind?!?!?!

Filed under: Uncategorized — leland4 at 7:08 pm on Thursday, July 24, 2014

I have been putting off letting the Tripawd community know that this Saturday my husband and I will be bringing home a 10 week old Dobie boy.  I have been going back and forth with whether this is the right thing to do.  Then on Monday the decision was made and my husband contacted the breeder.

My husband, grandmother, and I went last Saturday to a Dobie breeder.  Our hopes were not high because the prior weekend we met with a not so good breeder and her dogs…I don’t want to get started on how awful that experience was.  Well there were two boys (one red/rust and one black/rust) that I was immediately drawn to.  I called my grandmother over and she just starting gushing over them and immediately fell in love with the laid back red/rust puppy.  I was pretty set on the red/rust boy because I didn’t want another dog to resemble Leland.

We got to interact with them and the little black one wanted all our attention.  He would push the red one back.  The black one started nibbling on my diamond bracelet and it made me think of my Leland as he did the same thing after his amp surgery.  Then my husband got down there with them and the black one came up and bumped his nose on my husband’s cheek and tried to take his ball cap…just like Leland used to.

After interacting with them both I still wasn’t sure.  Having another Dobie with the same coloring as Leland frankly scares me.  I’m afraid I will look at this puppy and constantly think of Leland.  But then it seems like maybe Leland was showing us that it’s ok and go with the black one since he was showing similar behaviors that Leland did.

On Tuesday I went with my husband on a trip to pick up a trailer.  I was thinking about Leland and the black puppy and how they nibbled on my bracelet and I went to rub it and noticed it had fallen off.  I had no clue where it could have fallen off at and I didn’t hear it hit when it came off.  I was so upset with myself and my husband was trying to make me feel better and that it wasn’t my fault.  He didn’t know how much that bracelet meant to me now that Leland was gone.  I pulled everything out of my purse hoping maybe it had fallen in there.  Perhaps it was on the floor board of the truck but I couldn’t really look until we stopped.  My husband said to check the glove box because I had put some napkins in there and when I opened it there it was.  My husband and I both burst into tears because our boy was still looking out for us.

I was reading a response that Angel Sassy’s mom Michelle had written and she had included this story named “You Have Chosen Tears”.  It was beautiful but there was one portion that touched my heart…

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little girl wasn’t ready to leave the sight of her mummy.

“Will I ever get to be with her again?” she asked solemnly.

The kind lady nodded. “You’ll be in the eyes of every puppy she looks at.  You’ll be in the bark of every dog she pets.  Late at night, when she’s fast asleep, the spirit of your memory will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace.  One day soon you can even send her a rainbow, to let her know you’re safe and waiting here…for when it’s time for her to come.”

“I would like that,” as the little girl took one last, long look at her mummy.

She saw her smile slightly through her tears and she knew she had just recalled a happy memory of her.

“I love you, Mummy,” she whispered.  “It’s okay if you cry, I understand now.”

 

After reading this story I realized it’s ok if I see bits of Leland in another.  It doesn’t mean I love Leland any less.  This new puppy isn’t a replacement for my Leland…he will just bring a little joy into a home that has been nothing but sadness since Leland’s journey on this earth ended.  I have been so worried about what others may think with bringing a puppy into our home that I’ve not told to many.  I guess I’ve also struggled within myself on whether this is right or not.  But as my husband told me this puppy is so lucky to have us and he couldn’t get anymore love than what he’ll get from us and our family.

So on Saturday Lucian Reign will start his journey with me and my husband.  He will have a lot on his shoulders for such a little fella but I have no doubt he will bring us some smiles.



6 Comments »

41

   trituck

July 24, 2014 @ 7:28 pm   Reply

Congratulations!

No one will think you have lost your mind…..we will all be happy for you 🙂

The decision about when to bring another furbaby into your life is a personal one – there are so many factors involved in it!

Leland will always have a special place in your heart…

Many hugs

Linda and Tucker

42

   jerry

July 24, 2014 @ 8:07 pm   Reply

Ohhh you are certainly not insane at all…just dog crazy, and we all are here so you’re in great company! Congratulations, we can’t wait to see this sweetie. Leland will definitely be guiding the way for all of you.

43

   mom2shelby

July 24, 2014 @ 11:24 pm   Reply

CONGRATS!!! This is wonderful news! I know exactly how you feel – not wanting another dog that resembled my beloved Shelby (and she was a mutt of sorts so easy to find something different). Leland definitely had his paw in this. That much I do know!

I see a lot of “Shelby” in Jasper and it brings me peace, it keeps Shelby’s spirit alive and with me, and it makes me smile. Things I thought I would never do again. Cannot wait to hear more about your new baby!

44

   Michelle

July 25, 2014 @ 1:15 am   Reply

Nope not crazy and one thing you will learn is that no one judges anyone here. I agree Leland had a paw in helping you decide.
Each one of our furbabies is with us for a special reason. I didn’t choose someone that looked like Sassy, I couldn’t but Sassy chose Snickers for me.

Congrats. I still keep Sassy’s blog but I write about Snickers, Jazz & Bosch on it. But I do put memories of my sweet baby on there too. So I hope you continue Leland’s blog and include Lucian on there too

Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy

46

   benny55

July 25, 2014 @ 4:01 am   Reply

OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMDDDDDDDDDD!!!!! 🙂 I am sooooooo happy and excited for you! My heart is actuallly pounder a bit harder and faster because I’m sooooo excited!!!!!

This is THE best news!!!!! And let me tell ya’, if bringing a dog into your life so he can know what love feels like, so he can know what joy feels like, so he can know what being part of a team who will never let him down feels like, so he can k now what tummy rubs feels like and so he can know what an occasional scoop of ice cream taste tlike…..if that’s crazy then I don’t ever want to be sane!!!!

LELAND DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, STAMPED YOUR NAME ON THIS FELLA’s SOUL THE DAY HE WAS BORN!!!! Just as your name was stamped on Leland’s soul…and his on yours.

Leland was overseeing you the whole time Lucian Reign was doing his best to get you to notice him!!! Leland had given him his instuctions to chew on your bracelet, to pull on hubby’s cap…to just be persistent until you figured out he’s the one Leland picked for you!!!!!

It’s funny, I was actually “wanting” a Bull Mastiff the SAME color as my beloved Happy Hannah (fawn with black mask, ears)…but Happy Hannah selected one NOT colored like her…red with black markings! Leland and Happy Hannah know best!

Even though My Pal Merry Myrtle was 5 1/2 months when I got her a month ago, she’s still a puppy and keeps me on my toes non-stop! And funny…OMD…she has me laughing all the time!

My world was so grey, just a void, an emptiness, a silence, a constant ache. Once Hannah sent me Myrtle…I have color in my world, I have life with a beating heart next ro me. I feel her love and I get to share my heart and my love with her. Happy Hannah wants that for me without question!

I still cry for my Happy Hannah and my heart is still broken. I still hurt. AND, I have joy in my life and I laugh and I am excited to come home and sleep with a smile on my face as My Pal Myrtle snuggles next to me and snores.

CANNOT wait to see pictures of Lucian and to hear about all his adventures with you! This is going to be so much fun watching him grow and seeing what a masterpiece of life he will paint on your hearts!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I’d through you a baby shower if I lived closer! So I guess I’ll have to settle for a bowl of ice with a pink bow around it!

Sending love!

Sally and Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!

47

   arlene

July 25, 2014 @ 6:15 pm   Reply

This is happy news for you and your family! It takes time to mourn the loss of our pets, and there is nothing wrong about adding a new puppy, to bring you joy and for you to have a place to put all that love. Before I got my cooper in oct, I lost my previous Golden Easton in aug. it was sudden , one day he just started having this weird quaking / shaking in his neck. Lots of tests were done, with no answers and he could barely stand. Life was so different without Easton, so quiet in the house. i always felt i needed something to fill the void. Cooper can never take Easton’s spot in my heart. There is room for both, and there are times when I feel this was the dog Easton chose for me. There stubbornness is the same, they look very similar, and we can laugh at the memories that come back, comparing similarities and differences.
I know nobody in these forums would judge you, I have been here a short time, and have only felt encouragement and support. And out in the real world, I would have to say the less we care about what others think of our actions the happier we will be. The only opinion that matters on the subject is yours and your husbands.
Wishing you many hours of joy with your new addition to the family

Arlene

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