It’s with a heavy heart that’s full of sadness that I wanted to let the Tripawd community know that we had to put our sweet boy Leland to sleep on Monday. My husband thought it best that I stay off the Tripawd site for a while as I’ve had a really hard time with losing my boy. But I thought the community should know what happened after my frantic postings Saturday night.
We spoke with Leland’s amp surgeon Sunday and because Leland has been battling so many other health issues that if we did the TPLO on the other hind leg everything would have to go 100% perfect. The surgeon suspected that the autoimmune disorder may have been the reason the infection Leland got after the first TPLO was so aggressive and why his body couldn’t fight it even with the help of anti-biotics. The surgeon stated with Leland’s compromised immune system that it would take much longer for him to recover if there weren’t any complications.
My husband and I so wanted to have the remaining hind leg fixed but we were not confident that Leland would make it through after everything that happened the first time which ultimately led to the amputation. We did not want to put him through a 3rd surgery that he may not recover from to only have to put him to sleep in the end. We could tell he was in pain and he looked so sad. He couldn’t go to the bathroom with out my husband holding him on his amputated side while I held him up by the other hind leg. And without the ability to help support some of his weight the belly sling was starting to bruise his stomach and he would moan from the pressure on him. We felt we were being selfish to put our Leland through more just to keep him with us…but he would have went through it for us. I think what makes this time so much harder than when we had to put our first dog Lucky to sleep is that Leland was only 4 1/2 years old. His heart and spirit were still so strong but his body just couldn’t keep up. With our previous dog Lucky he was 12 yrs old and suffering with Lymphoma but he had been able to live as full a life as a dog can. Leland didn’t get that same opportunity and that’s what make this so hard.
My husband built a casket for Leland and we finally got him laid to rest under the shade of a Dogwood tree at our front flower bed. My husband had built Lucky a casket when he passed and has decided to move Lucky from where we buried him and place him beside Leland. We’re going to order Leland a granite headstone and have his picture engraved on it just like we did for Lucky then we’re going to purchase a bench to sit out under the Dogwood so we can sit out there with our boys.
I know in time things will become a little easier but right now the house is so quiet that we’re finding reasons to be out of the home except to sleep. I think that’s the hardest part for me right now as Leland was by my side everywhere I went in the house as well as outside. He just loved to sit under the shade of a tree and sniff the air and look around.
I will come back and post some pics of Leland from when he was our healthy boy. He was so beautiful and loved by everybody who met him…once they got over his size and realized he wouldn’t hurt them.
I know we did the best thing for our boy but it sure doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I’m so very sorry. Leland was young, but he lived a full and happy life because of you and your husband.
With love,
Carol
I am so sorry to hear about Leland. RIP Leland. I know it hurts so much right now. Please don’t let anyone tell how how long to take to grieve. Each person is so individual.
My thoughts are with you at this very sad time.
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet boy Leland……we all know the pain and anguish you are feeling, of saying goodbye to a special and beloved fur baby. Take the time to grieve and may happy memories of Leland, eventually take the place of the pain within your heart.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
My heart sank when I saw your headline, I am so very, very sorry to read this sad news and can’t even imagine how devastated you are right now. To lose a dog so young, so unexpectedly, is just heartbreaking, please accept my condolences.
I know nothing can make this easier. For whatever reason, Leland has been called on to “other assignments,” but the world he touched in this lifetime is brighter because he was here with you. Keep that close in your heart as you try to find peace. I’m so sorry.
I, too, was so sorry to hear that Leland crossed the Bridge. You did everything that could have done for him, but those other Tripawd angels were just calling too loudly. It is so special that you are able to have both Leland and Lucky there where you can sit and talk with them.
We will look forward to seeing the pictures when you feel able to post them
Kathi and Murphy
So sorry to hear about Leland. My heart aches for you. It is just so hard to lose our sweet pups. Please know that we are here for you. I really like the idea of a bench under your tree. Thoughts and prayers are with you, love from, Lori and TY
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful pup, Leland.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Linda and Tucker
I, along with everyone here, am absolutley heartsick at this shocking and devastating news! This just is gutwrenching news.
There are no words that can help ease your pain right now. We, like no others, understand the void, the disbelief, the depth of bond and love you and your husband are experiencing. We can only “be here” for you and surrounding you with our love and send you strength to help you take your next breath.
There is a thread here called “Coping with loss”…the thread none of us ever want to have to go to. But in that thread and under various posts, you will, find a variety of poems, “sentiments”, and helpful tools to help work through the overwhelming grief you are experiencing right now…and will experience for awhile. There is one poem that has been posted a lot by Christine, Frank n’ farter’s mom, and it reminds us that none of the things that happened to Leland..all his challenges…didn’t touch Leland’s spirit, it couldn’t touch his soul, the essenece of who he is. His shining vibrant personality stayed intact! I’m very, very computer stupid so I’m no help in “pasting” links, or whatever. I just wish I could guide you to some of these things and some of the discussion grief in variois threads. They can’t take the pain away, only time and happy memories of Leland can help do that, but they can bring you comfort.
I bow down in awe and honor you both for having the courage snd the LOVE to release Leland from a life of such diminished quaility. You gave him the most selfless gift a human can give their dog soulmates.
For whatever reasons, reasons that can never be explained, Leland seemingly had the cards stacked against him. From Leland’s perspective and on a soul level, his earthly mission was complete and he was ready to move on to the other side of this life. I’m sure Lucky was there to greet him as they joined forces to be your special Guardian Angels! And you have quite a pair watching over you! I told my Happy Hannah to watch out for him and to share her ice cream with him!
I know in human years Leland was with you for waaaaay too short! But in Leland’s dog years he was with you for over over 31 years!! Leland got more loving and spoiling than any twenty dogs ever get in a lifetime!
Leland’s pictures always made me smile.I LOVED the one where he had all his stuffies with him. My computer has been down so I didn’t always get to respond to your blogs, but I was able to read them and see his pictures. LELAND WAS SOOOOO HAPPY AND CONTENT. It showed in everyine of his pictures. You could just tell he was “going with the flow” and let nothing bother him!!
You did EVERYTHING…E V E R Y T H I N G POSSIBLE for your boy!! I honestly think with all the weight loss issues, not eating very well, etc. there may have been “other” issues going on that were yet to be discovered. I k ow it’s mot easy to see right now, but the knee breakdown may have prevented him from going through numerous test, prodding, poking, meds that cause tummy upsets, etc., only to find he had more serious underlying health issues that would slowly take away his quaility.
LELAND’S LIFE MATTERED!! Leland touched our hearts from the first post. He is a magnificent boy in everyway and very, very handsome too!!! LELAND WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN BY US…EVER!!
When you can, please stay connected and let us help you. We would love to hear more about Leland, and Lucky too! And to see more oictures would be great!
You gave Leland a beautiful life and a beautiful send off. The memorial spot you have planned for Lucky and Leland sounds lovely. I have a dogwood at my house…..every Spring when it blooms I shall be reminded of Leland’s eternal light that still shines brightly on us all.
Thank you for sharing your jncredible Leland with us. It’s such a privilege.
Sending you love and surrounding you with Lelend’s eternal grace.
Sally and Happy Hannah
I am so so sorry to read this sad news. You and your husband did everything possible for Leland. In his short life he was loved and will be remembered.
Our deepest sympathies for you both,
Esther and her Snoop
I just saw your post where you were helping with some advice. Here you are in the middle of your own grief reaching out to others. That is incredible tribute to Leland. To be able to carry on a legacy that inspires and help others in Leland honor is just beautiful.
that’s one reason some of us are able to stay on the site. There is no right in there is no wrong. And it can be very very hard sometimes to support others as they have supported us, especially on a day like today with the loss of Leland one of our brightest stars.for me it is life affirming 2 continue trying to help others and happy Hannah’s honor.
again I just want to acknowledge you for your courage n selflessness and compassion to reach out to others today. I cry with you and I also celebrate the life of a true hero with you.
love
Sally and happy Hannah
I’m so sad to hear Leland has gone on. I know everyone here was hoping for a much better outcome. I’m so sorry your boy wasn’t with you longer. Sending healing thoughts to you both.
We are so sorry to hear that Leland is gone. He was such a beautiful boy and special spirit. He may not have been with you as long as you expected but your love for him and his for you will never die. Sending you peace and love and all our 3×3 tripawd strength from the Oaktown Pack
Thank you all for your support and beautiful words. My husband keeps telling me “we’ll get through this or we can lay down and die beside our boy.” I know in my mind that we did what was best for Leland and that the pain will pass in time but it doesn’t stop my heart from hurting now. And I agree Sally that Leland probably had other underlying health issues that were just starting to show their ugly face. For whatever reason so many problems started showing up right after we made the decision to try and fix the knee with the TPLO (infection, screws not holding) that ultimately led us to amputate to try and save him from dying from the infection.
For my husband he blames himself for this whole cascade of issues that came up after we agreed to let them fix the knee so he wouldn’t have to be in pain and limping. He says “if I would have just stayed with the original plan of keeping Leland as comfortable until nature took its course then he’d still be here with us.” I try to tell him that “we” chose to try and give Leland a pain free life after the vets decided he didn’t have cancer. It was our decision to try and help him and he doesn’t need to carry this guilt that he did this to Leland. My husband can be stubborn and he’s not going to let go of his guilt anytime soon if at all. I just now have to watch over him because he has high blood pressure and that his health doesn’t start going down hill.
Again, thanks to everyone.
Sahana
Sahana,
I was just getting caught up on everyone’s blogs after 3+ weeks of house guests (my family from Wisconsin mostly), and I’m so sad to read this news. Know that my heart is heavy for you and I’m sending lots of positive thoughts and energy your way. Hold your memories of sweet Leland near to you and be comforted in the fact that you did everything you could and then made the final decision that was best for him. It’s never easy. We’ve lost 2 dogs in the past 2 1/2 years (both cancer – one mast cell after LOTS of surgeries and procedures which extended her life almost a year, and the other mammary chain cancer which basically took her within a month from the initial signs / diagnosis) We still miss them both tremendously, but it has gotten easier and now talking about either of our angel girls results in smiles and laughter. I hope that time has started to arrive for you.
Take care of yourself and know we’re here for you!
-Victoria & Sebastian (and Nico, Brody, Sable, and Tang too!)